In Which Loki's Life is Plain and Boring
by Aiedail Choupette
Summary: Loki's bored, Tony's a jerk, Peter's awesome. And Loki has many friends Tony is jealous of, including but not limited to : Dean Winchester, the Doctor, Jack Harkness, Sauron, Sherlock and John, Batman, Wolverine, Sheldon Cooper, Barney Stinson ... And Coulson makes an appearance, of course. Mighty Crossover, and FrostIron of course. Not beta-ed.


**Disclaimer : **This is stupid and I own nothing.**  
**

**Summary :** Loki's bored, Tony's a jerk, Peter's awesome. And Loki has many friends Tony is jealous of, including but not limited to : Dean Winchester, the Doctor, Jack Harkness, Sauron, Sherlock and John, Batman, Wolverine, Sheldon Cooper, Barney Stinson ... And Coulson makes an appearance, of course.

* * *

**In which Loki's life is plain and Boring :**

Tony Stark was an exceptional man, most people would say. He would walk from his car to a random but still awesome building (because he was Tony Stark and all the places he went to had to be awesome – remember shawarma), and women, girls, and grandmas would faint. And one of the most awesome things about him was his taste in music.

He was too rock'n roll to be true.

But what most people didn't know was that Tony was a true fangirl. Actually, only Jarvis and Pepper knew about that. And on the 16th of July, they were both particularly aware of the fact. He had waken up at four in the morning to be sure not to miss anything. Until it aired – the new Green Day single.

Oh Love.

"Oh God" Pepper said after hearing it for the 25th time in three hours. And here was Tony, singing along and doing the "awesome dance of awesomeness", as he called it. According to him, the awesome dance of awesomeness was to be done in any awesome situation. You didn't have to learn any move, actually : you just had to dance, and if you had the chance to be as awesome as Tony, the moves would be awesome as well. And he had decided his whole day would be a big awesome dance of awesomeness. So Pepper left – first mistake.

Now, Jarvis had his habits, when it came to Tony's moments of … Well. Actually, an incident had happened a few years ago, back in 2009, the day of Green day's previous studio album release. Jarvis had tried to inform Tony that Nick Fury was waiting to be introduced. The first time, Tony had ignored it. The second time, he had told Jarvis to shut up. When the AI hadn't, he had put it on mute, and had locked every door of the place. Then he had looked by the window and had told Fury "these words that will never ever be forgotten" (quotation of Tony Stark himself) :

"How dare you ? How dare you, on the glorious day, on this sacred day, come here, and try to enter the temple that is this house ! Today is NOT a working day, today is not monday, nor tuesday, nor any day known to mankind ! Today is the day know by only the ones who know ! Today is Green Day ! Now get the fuck out of here !"

Now, "these words that will never ever be forgotten" were not indeed, and Tony, for a year, had lived in fear after realizing what he had said, and also who he had said all this to. And on the anniversary of the album's release, Tony had found himself locked in his armor, Jarvis being held hostage by Fury, and the album had played for hours. Tony could walk, sit, but he could not stop the music from playing. After 25 hours of battle, he had given up and had ended up on his knees, begging Fury to stop this madness. This event made a picture that would "never ever be forgotten" (and these were Fury's exact words).

So Jarvis didn't say a word, and let Tony rule the mansion for the day. Second mistake. Because if they had stayed, someone at some point would have told Tony that Loki, who was on Earth to visit his brother – as much as he disliked it – had helped himself with a bottle of whisky and had been watching Tony doing the awesome dance of awesomeness for almost an hour, contempt to simply watch and smile while Tony – half naked and over excited – was doing things that were probably considered an insult to dancing.

"I must admit I'm more thrilled by ACDC than by what you're listening to right now, Stark."

Tony stopped in his track. Turned around. Saw Loki. Shrugged.

"Don't mess with Green Day. And pour me a drink."

"And here I thought you were a man with issues that needed to be dealt with. I was expecting to see you lying on the floor, half-unconscious, muttering about your long-lost father and the girlfriend who left you."

Tony laughed.

"Man, really, sometimes, I need to stop with the clichés. What would have been the fun if you had found me as you expected ?"

"Well, I could have ..."

"_Don't_ say that you could have killed me. Murdered me while I was drunk. That is _so _cliché. So shut up and have a seat."

Tony turned the music off.

"So, how's Point Break ?"

"I will assume you are referring to my brother."

"Yup."

"Then, he's endlessly courting this mortal female called Jane. I am here to give her my respects on behalf of my mother."

"Don't tell me your father isn't thrilled about all this."

"He is not."

Tony poured himself another drink and offered the bottle to Loki.

"You know" the Trickster said "bu your fans's standards, what we are presently doing is also terribly cliché."

"Bonding over a drink, huh ? Shouldn't you have said I owed you a drink ?"

"Probably."

There was a moment of silence.

"Soooo, how's life ?"

Loki raised an eyebrow.

"Well, as usual. My children are still away. I had my lips shewed. I've been tortured. I still say Thor is not my brother. I still blame Odin for everything. Odin is not proud of me. My mother loves me dearly no matter what. Sif and her little friends hate me. I am not plotting anything, though."

"Nothing new, I see."

There was a noise at one of the windows.

"Hey Lokes !"

Spiderman was hanging upside down. Tony looked surprised.

"You guys know each other ?"

"Are you kidding, this guy's awesome !" Peter exclaimed.

"Peter Parker is an acceptable mortal. He reminds me of my son Fenrir."

Tony shook his head. That was _not _written in the fanfictions. In a heartbeat, Peter had sat down next to Loki.

"And the fact that he's the bad guy doesn't disturb you ?"

He shrugged.

"Fury didn't want me to join you guys, I was bored, I met Loki."

Tony shook his head – again. The kid was impossible.

"So, how's the Doc' ?"

Peter seemed eager, suddenly. Loki made a glass appear, filled it and gave it to Peter.

"Hey !" Protested Tony "Spidey can't drink !"

"Stark, you are, as your fellow mortals would say, a pain in the ass. To answer you, Peter, the Doctor is fine, as always. He travels a lot. He now has found a suitable companion, in I can call the man who travels with him so, which is something I have come to regret. My life without him has quickly become dull and boring."

"Who's the Doctor ?"

"But is he going to come back and visit ?"

"Kid, grown ups are talking here."

"He will come back. Since I broke the Bifrost, I need the Tardis to take me to Sauron for tea anyway. Teleporting is too exhausting."

"Lost here ! You could answer my question Loki."

"Sweet. Talking about having tea, I'm out of here. My aunt will be pissed at me if I'm not back in time."

They watched as Spiderman jumped out of the window.

"So, you found a new boyfriend then ?"

Loki let a mysterious smile appear on his face. Cliché.

"Oh, Stark, the Doctor is so much more than a simple boyfriend."

"And you _are _dealing with bad guys. Who the hell has tea Sauron ?"

"That was that or being bored to death with the dwarves. Diplomacy sucks."

"You are spending too much time on Earth. I kinda like the way thou art normally speaking. Makes me horny. Don't say the word suck, please."

Tony got up to take a new bottle. From the counter, he asked again :

"So, this Doctor ?"

"Mad man with a blue box. That's all. Fascinating, really. Of course, he's not human."

"Of course." Tony mumbled.

"So, Stark, are you sleeping with Bruce ? Steve ? The two of them ?"

"None of that, you pervert. You read too many fanfictions."

"They keep me entertained."

Tony had to agree. That was fun. And now, Barton _actually _said "Hawk Hawk Motherfuckers". Now, he thought, he probably had to bound with Loki over their daddy issues, and then, when the tension was too much too bear, have sex on the couch before Pepper got in the room.

"Can we skip the daddy issues ?" Loki asked, as if he had read his thoughts. Motherfucker.

"While we're at it : _don't give alcohol to Peter_."

"You're not his father."

"You're not his dad either."

"He stays at my place most of the time."

"No, he stays at _mine _most of the time."

"He came to me because _you _didn't pay attention to him."

"Don't put the blame on me, Reindeer Games !"

"Between the two of us, I am the father."

"You don't even see your children."

"Incorrect. Thanks to the Doctor ..."

"Oh, so the Doctor is their new step father, now !"

Loki got up.

"This is pointless, Stark. You'll still think you're better for Peter than I am even if I shove the proofs in your face."

And then, Loki disappeared.

**oOo**

"Sheldon, you _can't _decide to deny Wolverine his right to be the greatest mutant of the world" Leonard whined.

"I can, and I will."

"No, Sheldon, you can't. Because Logan will _eat your heart_."

"Hello, gentlemen."

"Oh, hi, Loki !"

Loki walked to the kitchen and helped himself with a glass of milk.

"Since you're here, Loki, what do you think of the question ? Surely you'll agree with me that Professor X and his great mind are much better than Wolverine, even though he's still an acceptable mutant."

"I'm afraid I agree with Leonard, Sheldon. Even though it is true that I will always favorite the mind over the body, I can't help but feel oddly attracted to Logan. That would be the sideburns. And as much as it pains me to say it, the man saved my life."

Loki sat down, ignoring the glance Sheldon and Leonard exchanged.

"Care to tell us the story ?" Leonard finally asked.

Loki took a sip of his drink, and then started.

"It was a few days ago, though it was not _exactly _a few days ago. I mean I was traveling with the Doctor, of course. We happened to come face to face with some daleks. Their plan was to take over the island of Tokyo and kill every human there. But I might want to start all over again. It's more complicated than that."

Howard and Raj then opened the door and stepped in.

"Hi Loki !" Shouted Howard, carefully standing at a safe distance, though.

Raj muttered something in Howard's ear.

"I will assume you still are not able to talk to me, Raj. And yet I am in a male body today."

"Fascinating" Sheldon commented.

"Indeed."

"Hey guys ! Loki was telling us how Wolverine saved his life."

"Cool !"

Loki cleared his throat.

"So, as I said, we were facing daleks. I'll have you know that Rory, if you remember what I told you about him, was a companion to the Doctor. He happens to be the nephew of an Arthur Weasley, father of a hero of war among the sorcerers. We were actually coming back from a meal with them when we decided to stop in Tokyo. Actually, we were worried about the fact that the sky had turned red a few days ago. This dear Draco – Malfoy I mean – told us something was going on in Japan. So ..."

Penny entered.

"Hello sweetheart !"

"Hi Penny !" Leonard exclaimed. "Loki is telling us how Wolverine saved his life while he was saving the earth."

"Go on then."

Ever the gentleman, he waited for Penny to sit down, and resumed his story.

"Where was I ? Hum … We were expecting a lot, but not an army of daleks. We were surrounded. The Doctor and I were separated from each other. While he was trying to have the daleks explain their intentions to him, I was supposed to look for an escape. But I was taken to a strange place. There was a big machine. But now, we need to go back in time a bit. The daleks had not exactly forgotten who the doctor was, but they thought this version of the Doctor was not the real one. It was too late when I understood they were going to use my magic to bring the older version of him back. They tied me to the machine. I could feel my magic leaving me."

At that, Sheldon snorted. He always amazed Loki : he was a friend of the Trickster, and yet he still didn't believe in the stories about magic. Loki ignored him and went on.

"Here, it is a bit blurry, but I remember someone _slaughtered _the daleks. When I opened my eyes, Wolverine was carrying me outside."

He stopped here, because it always hurt his pride to say such a thing. Penny's mouth was in a shape of a O and she was totally captivated by the story.

"He quickly put me down, of course. The Doctor was with us, but not the version of him I was used to now. The tenth version of him."

Sheldon _squealed_.

"We managed, thanks to Wolverine and Victor, his brother, to get out of there. The X-men took care of the rest."

Penny clapped.

"So, let me get this straight" interrupted Sheldon. "We have _two _Doctors now."

"Indeed."

And Loki felt tired.

"Where are they, now ?" Penny asked.

"They went away. Things are changed in the universe because of what happened. We have made too many changes lately. Of course, nothing seems changed yet. It bothers me a little, actually."

"So they dropped you here and went to war ?"

"Yes, I am still entitled to the obligations my father gave me. Believe me, I'd rather have spent the day fighting monsters than visit my brother and his female and argue with Stark."

Something changed in Penny's eyes at the mention of the billionaire. She got up.

"Loki sweetheart, I needed to show you something. Can you spare a few minutes ?"

He obliged her, too brought down to do anything else. Traveling with the Doctor was amazing, but when he left you behind, it hurt.

_I'm a God._

That didn't cheer him up. The Doctor was the equal of a God, too. He took his leave and followed Penny in her apartment. She grabbed ice cream, a bottle of wine, and at down on the couch.

"It's therapy time, darling ! With your favorite flavor. You and Stark had one of these arguments again ?"

So he told her. Penny shook her head.

"Oh boy ! Take some holiday ! Saving the world must be exhausting. And you're not even telling people you're doing it ! But look at you, going to see Sauron to prevent the war from happening. My, my, this man, thing, whatever, must have a soft spot for you. And then you're having lunch with war heroes _and _former Death Eaters. Look at you and this Malfoy guy ! You're always around saving the world and nobody notices. Now, you go somewhere nice and forget about Tony Stark."

So Loki left Penny and teleported.

**oOo**

"What are you doing ?"

"I'm watching over Gotham."

"I'm bored, Bruce."

"Batman."

"Bruce."

"..."

"Still bored."

"Visit me some other day when I don't wear the costume."

"Can we have lunch ?"

"Is this a date ?"

"I'm not courting you, Wayne. Do you wish I were ?"

"I'm Batman."

"That you are. You're not fun."

"I'm not here for fun."

"But you usually amuse me."

"That is not my intention."

"I like you when you're a playboy."

"I like you when I'm a playboy too. But I'm Batman now."

"Alfred will not be happy if you come home hurt."

"..."

"You know, I might just go and pay a visit to the Joker."

"Go to bed, Loki."

"Can I take the spare room ?"

"I'm sending a message to Alfred. Did Stark kicked you out ?"

"I don't live with Stark. Go get hit by a bus, _Batman._"

**oOo**

The morning after, Robin was waiting for him in the living room. Loki, once again, thought this man was too good to be true. The uniform suited him.

"Bruce's not pissed at you."

"I know."

"I have a man in jail. Said he knew you."

"Name ?"

"A Dean Winchester."

Loki smiled. _That _was going to be fun. And if Castiel and Sam weren't around, a bit of _real _fun. The suggestive smile Dean gave him when he saw him was proof enough.

It had been Dean's idea and Loki agreed : there was nothing better than seeing a domestic scene.

"Sherlock, _please."_

"_No._"

"You're unbearable. Molly is a nice girl. I don't want her to go to this party on her own."

"Lestrade can go with her."

"No, Sherlock, because I'm dining with him the night of the party."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I 're being childish."

"I'll be sick."

"No you won't."

Dean laughed ; Sherlock and John turned toward him. Loki smiled.

"Hello, the two of you." John said with a smile. "I didn't know you knew each other."

"Of course they do." Replied Sherlock as if it were obvious. "How's the Doctor ?"

"He's fine. _They_ are fine."

"So it's true, then. Hum."

John gave them a cup of tea. Dean made a face.

"Be nice" Loki whispered in his ear.

"Are you going to spank me ?"

"Behave." John interrupted.

"Look at us, having tea like we're two normal gay couples." Dean laughed.

"We're not normal." Sherlock said.

"We're not a couple." Clarified Dean.

"I know. Loki, Stark called. I told him to go ..."

"Language" John interrupted.

"You know what I mean." Continued Sherlock with an annoying glance for John. "Anyway. Can I take the case ? I'm bored. I'd rather go to war than remain bored here."

"Fine."

"Tell the Doctor I'm in."

"Good."

**oOo**

They were having a beer in a bar when Loki's phone rang. It was the soundtrack of _Pulp Fiction. _

Fury.

"I never know if I should change your ringtone to Pirate of the Caribbeans, though." Declared Loki.

"Loki, I'm watching you."

"With one eye, that's going to be a bit more difficult than expected."

Fury hung up.

"That was short." Dean commented.

Hehehe.

**oOo**

"Hello you."

"Don't start."

"I know you like it."

"I'm here for business."

Captain Jack Harkness sulked.

"We could have fun anyway."

Loki was happy, he thought. His brother hadn't asked him to come back, and Stark had not called him either. He had travelled and was now with the great Jack and his pheromones. That was cheating, in Loki's opinion, but you could hardly resist it.

"Is it not sad, though," Jack started "to know that in a few hours the Doctor will be done with all the fuss and we won't have to do anything ?"

Loki shrugged.

"We need to be prepared, anyway."

"I know. Boy, I only see the Doctor when he needs me. I'm in, anyway, if we have to go to war."

"This planet seems to be the favorite playground of the villains of the universe."

Jack laughed.

"You would know about that."

They were in a dark corner of a street in London. They could feel the atmosphere was tense, the clouds hung heavily in the sky. Loki flinched when he heard the thunder, but Thor was nowhere to be seen.

"Relax," Jack muttered near his ear.

He was about to comply when the lightning struck again.

"You are late for tea."

That was Gandalf.

"War won't wait for you" he said. "It would be stupid to start one because you missed tea with a big eye of fire, wouldn't it ?"

Loki heard Jack sigh.

"I suppose this is goodbye, then, gorgeous."

"Indeed."

He let Jack hug him and followed Gandalf.

"Your friend the Doctor is late" The White Sorcerer noted.

"I'm afraid so. I think I might spend the night in Mordor, then. Going back to Midgard would be too much of a hard work."

Gandalf chuckled, probably at the notion that someone could want to spend the night in Mordor.

**oOo**

"Tell my orcs the story of Jack Sparrow, Loki."

Loki was seated outside of the tower, the big eye was on him. He was surrounded by orcs, now. They had left them alone until now, but Sauron wanted his men to be amused.

"You, SilverTongue, are the best storyteller. I trust it will be amazing. Beside, I like this Jack Sparrow."

So he told the story of Jack, and Will, and Elizabeth, and Davy Jones too. He explained how he had met Turner while going on the Flying Dutchman to go and see his daughter, how he found himself surrounded by whores in Tortuga while Jack was trying to impress him. That didn't work in the end, but they stayed in touch.

The orcs left when he was done. He was about to ask to be lead to a spare room when shouts of anger startled him. The orcs were pointing at the sky. It was only a Starfleet spaceship. The Enterprise, to be precise. Loki watched as the ship landed.

"Hey there Loki !" Kirk said.

"Sauron." He added respectfully.

"We were on our way back to Earth, when we heard you were here. Wanna come ? We'll drop you at your brother's."

Loki wasn't that pleased, but he accepted anyway. Going to see his brother would be better to sleep in Mordor – he wasn't _that _evil.

He convinced them not to drop him at his brother's, though. Kirk made him promise to come and see them for Spock's birthday. Then Loki went back to his apartment.

Barney Stinson had called him, and left a voicemail.

"Hey, Bro. Could you come, in a week or something. You need to go out, dude. And no, Stark didn't tell me anything. Penny did. High five, bro."

Yes, because Penny knew Robin who was the sister of Agent Hill who knew Coulson who always knew what was going on in Stark's tower.

He went to his bedroom.

"SUUUUURPRISE !"

Ten and Eleven were on his bed, drinking tea. Someone was under the shower, apparently.

"Still bored ?"

"Not anymore."

"Tired ?"

"No."

"Good." Eleven smiled. "I – I mean "we" – have to take you somewhere."

Ten got up.

"How are you coping, Doctor ?"

"Oh, I'm fine. But I'm afraid we broke the sanity of the universe."

"I was afraid of this too. But everything seems most normal."

"I think too. Even though it is strange for me not to be dead."

"Of course."

"Are we ready now ?" Eleven asked from the bed.

"We're always ready" Loki and Ten said at the same time.

At the moment, Alonso went out of the shower. He saluted Loki. Ten was thrilled, of course.

"Allons-y, Alonso !"

And with that, they were gone.

**oOo**

The rest was blurry. They went to talk to the painting of Salazar Slythering to hear that a great war was coming and that the universe was at stake. Nothing new, then.

They met Malfoy to have a drink ; Harkness joined them ; everything went downhill.

He remembered going in town with everybody and pole dancing. He remembered _mostly _pole dancing.

A dalek ship landed, but it was actually the Dalek Ballet. Nothing to worry about. The Doctors even got them seats. This Company was known to be one the of the best of the universe. The show was quality. Bruce Wayne even joined them. He told Loki afterwards that he had taken his private jet earlier in the day to be able to see this.

The Doctors offered him a ride, and they brought him back to Gotham, where he landed just in time for the party that was thrown at the Manor. Loki actually had to make an appearance, because he was officially and Odinson. He had drunk much, so the only thing he was able to remember was Barney telling him "You came !". He played the wingman for Barney a little and jumped into the Tardis.

They landed somewhere, because the Doctors said it was better not to remain in space when you were drunk. They stayed in the Tardis. The sun was starting to shine.

**oOo**

"You landed your spaceship in my tower !"

Trouble.

"Go see what's happening, Loki" Draco mumbled.

The two Doctors were outside the Tardis, obviously. Loki didn't bother to put a shirt on – where had it gone ? - and followed the sound of the voice.

He soon found himself in front of the whole Avengers ready to attack, Coulson and Fury and Pepper and Jane. Stark Tower, then.

"Brother !"

Thor started bouncing around.

"Thor, you know your left knee is fragile. Stop bouncing."

"Yes, brother."

"So, that's the new companion of the Doc, huh ?"

Peter Parker was seated on the Tardis. He was looking at Ten.

"Actually, this is the Doctor."

"No, the other one is."

"We both are." They said in unison.

"We tried to explain …

… We were dropping Loki by …

… But the road isn't safe late at night …

… Or early in the morning, as a matter of fact …

… So …."

"Stop !" Shouted Stark.

"Where is Draco ?" Eleven asked.

"Inside."

Jack joined them, then.

"Loki Darling, come on, wanna have breakfast ?"

"_Darling ?_" Stark asked.

"Jack, not now. We' are in the middle of something, here. Did you tell Malfoy to get up ?"

"He's fine where he is. Hello, by the way. Oh, and, we might have left Alonso behind."

"Then maybe we will take our leave and look for him" Eleven answered.

"By the way, I took the liberty of answering your phone. Your father was _delighted _to hear me." Started Ten with a smile. "I told him you were bored."

"I thank thee."

"We need to assemble, though. All of us, I mean."

"I do not think it is a pressing matter."

"No, we still have time ! Moriarty in on holidays, the Joker has a cold, Sauron likes you, the Klingons are in their mating period, Voldemort is looking for a new tailor, the Master is trying to come back from the dead, the Daleks and the Cybermen are forming an alliance – that should take a while – and of course, Magneto is still recovering from the virus. There are, of course, all the supernatural creatures but we've got the best on it, and the fact that we might have turned the universe upside down ..."

"Once again" replied Loki "I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary."

"Neither did I. Anyone here ?"

Their faces remained blank.

"Good."

Eleven took the lead and they went back into the Tardis, after apologizing once again for the surprise and saying goodbye to Peter.

"See you for the family dinner, Loki !"

"I shall be here, Doctors. Shall I pick up the Winchesters first ?"

"Of course. We'll take care of Johnlock."

Eleven laughed and closed the door.

**oOo**

"I'm pissed off. Tell me now."

They were sitting on Stark's couch and it wasn't Green Day anymore.

"Well, it all started when we had lunch with Rory's uncle. Malfoy told us about the Japan. There, daleks used my magic to make an older version of the Doctor appear. Wolverine saved me. I came here, left, went to see Sheldon and his friends, who were arguing about who was the best mutant. Penny told me to take some holidays. I listened, went to see Wayne, slept at the Manor. In the morning, Robin told me Dean was in jail. I took him with me to London a few days later. We went to see John and Sherlock. I had Fury on the phone, mocked him, saw Jack – Harkness, not Sparrow – , then Gandalf and went to see Sauron. The Enterprise appeared and took me home. I had a call from Barney. The Doctors and Alonso were in my bedroom. I went to speak to Salazar Slytherin. We partied with Malfoy, saw a ballet of daleks with Wayne, took Wayne home – Barney was here, we had fun – and ended up here. All in all, a pretty normal week."

"But _who _are all this people ?"

Loki sighed.

"Stark, it would be too long to explain."

"But necessary. You slept in my tower, I have the right to know."

"I would not have ended up in this situation if it were not for you, Stark."

"What ? Now it's my fault."

"Of course, if we had not argued ..."

"Oh, you weren't _bored_. You were _sad _because we fought. Oh Loki, you're never gonna live this down."

"I _was _bored. Things just changed when I bumped into Dean."

"But _who's Dean ?_"

"Who cares ? A friend."

"Hum."

"I will take my leave, now."

"No you're not."

"Yes, I am."

Loki's phone rang. Pulp Fiction.

"Hello, Fury."

"Give the phone to Stark."

Tony took it.

"Hello, dear Director."

"Stark ..."

"Yeah ?"

"Just ask Loki out already."

Tony kept silent.

"Stark ?"

"Hum, yes sir."

"Did you hear what I said ?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then do it."

And Fury hung up.

"Alright. Loki ?"

The God was lying on the sofa.

"Stark, I need to sleep."

"You wouldn't need to if you had slept last night. I take it you don't want to go out."

"You're kicking me out ?"

"Told you not to use modern slang."

Loki didn't answer.

"Not kicking you out by the way. Definitely not. Do you're going to sleep right here ?"

"I am afraid I won't since you keep talking."

"Move a bit."

"Why ?"

"Because I want to cuddle."

"I am not cuddling with you, Stark."

"Yes, you are."

"Let's go out, then. And yes, it's a date."

"Stark, you're not good at that."

"I know, but I'm charming. Either we cuddle or we go out."

A moment of silence.

"I say we cuddle." Loki finally sighed.

Tony jumped on the couched. They settled.

A moment of silence.

"This is awkward." Tony noticed.

"What did you expect ?"

A moment of silence.

"Mr Laufeyson ?" Jarvis asked. "I'm sorry to interrupt ..."

"Don't be sassy, Jarvis."

"But I have a recorded message from a Dean Winchester."

Stark grunted.

"Are you kidding me ? Once again, _who is this guy_ ?"

"Ignore your creator and play it, Jarvis."

A moment of silence.

"Hey Lokes. Congrats on your first cuddling session with Stark. About damn time, if you ask me. Yes, I can see you. And yes, I'll miss the sex a bit."

A moment of silence.

"The sex ?"

Stark got up.

"And he can see us ?"

He walked around a bit, looking for something.

"And _the sex _?"

A moment of silence.

"I'm going to kill him."

And Loki thought that really, it was worrying how normal things were. Except for the two Doctors thing, maybe. And cuddling with Stark. Cuddling which was over, obviously, since Stark had suited up and was leaving the tower. He came back a few minutes later, though.

"Loki ? Where can I find this guy, by the way ?"

"No need to be so angry, Stark. Winchester is correct, you know. The sex _was _great."

Loki indulged himself an evil smile when he heard one of Tony's weapons being loaded. He looked up to see one of Iron Man's hands pointing at him.

"Come at me, Reindeer Games."

A few floors down, Bruce and Coulson, who were looking at some scientific results for SHIELD, heard a big bang. Coulson said :

"Assemble. We need to secure the city. The two morons in denial are fighting. _Again._"


End file.
